Tag: religious

Ex Nihilo

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I was certain it was all or nothing.
Could ignorance gamble a different solution?
But in the end, it was all for nothing.

Desperately through ashes I was sifting.
Had I recourse but to hold fast the illusion
of one solution – of all or nothing?

Beneath the foundation I was digging.
Perhaps not all was lost and the real delusion
was scribed on the wall as: all for nothing.

Only ashes and dust am I reaping
– gripping, ripping from the earth in my vexation
as each angel that swore “All or nothing.”

Now not even remorse counts for something
– yes, it might outweigh every other emotion,
but it can’t pay this debt of all for nothing.

What is left but hope- oh that cruelest thing,
for “ex nihilo” is ever the conclusion.
Are you certain it is all or nothing?
Can you pay the price of all for nothing?

Shards of Glass (Overdose)

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I saw the world through shards of glass.
Insufficient reflections
were fragmented introspections.
I could not see the totality of my delusion.
I saw the world through shards of glass.
An unbidden visitor,
a revenant of reason,
warned of an imminent destruction:
the collapse, the implosion of illusion.
“Run!” he said ,”Keep your eyes straight ahead!
There is nothing for you here anymore!”
But I faltered as I fled.
I stopped and I turned back
for a reminiscent gaze
upon a conflagrated past.
I did not know this sight would be my last.
My hand outstretched to grasp
one more second of borrowed time…
… stopped.
Flesh and bone became crystalline,
tear drops cracked into powder.
I saw the end in shards of glass.

The Least of These

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He said, “Deny yourself and follow me.”
but we fell so short in that instruction,
one might conclude we did the opposite.
The renunciation of pleasure
became
the pleasure of renunciation.
Self-denial became the virtue
and ceased being the means to attain them.
Cradling this deformed
and stunted soteriology,
our gaze only ever turned outwards
to accuse one another
of the sins we had invented.
Still, He was calling, “Follow me!”
Yes, there He stood: the least of these,
on San Pablo and Divisadero.
Did we see his divinity- his humanity?
No, we could not even see his privation,
it lay just outside our myopic casuistry.
We could only see the sin:
the indulgence and the addiction.
“Depart in peace.” We said to him.
“Be filled with the evidence of things unseen.”
Then we took up yet another offering
for those impoverished, yet believers,
in faraway countries.

The Silent Temple

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Eternity was eclipsed by doubt
and reason shone bright
in the darkened sky.
I saw for the first time
his dogmatic bones jut
from beneath a withering numinosity.
It was in that precipitous moment
of irreversible disillusionment
that I killed God.
A sourceless and awful cry
split the doctrinal foundation,
shook the cyclopean temple
of my adolescent subconsciousness.
I fell to my knees,
covered my ears
and closed my eyes.
When I dared to look again,
where his body had just been,
dropped an immeasurable chasm.
His corpse now suspended above it,
all flesh and bone disintegrated
like papyrus and parchment,
until only his heart hung in the air.
As if beckoning me, it hesitated,
then burst into flame,
and fell into the abyss below.
Away from the edge,
back into the temple I fled,
unaware of my atavism.
There, in reason’s cold and waning light,
shining through the shifted stones,
it was not the Devil that took God’s place.
What I heard ever after
was not the Devil’s laughter,
but ineffable silence.