Shadows embraced this mournful hall
as the vast night beckoned to me.
In vain I sought her dreamy call
– yes, I would struggle endlessly.
No more is darkness a solace
that will shelter my restless mind.
I close my eyes but I am sleepless,
there is no comfort here to find.
I am plagued with lucid visions
of the shame I tried to bury.
These memories are like phantoms
– each bears the name “Depravity.”
Can I forget what I have done
and find the strength to start anew?
Will I ever find redemption,
hope that is lasting and true?
Is there still hope to rise and fight,
and to risk falling once again?
For should I wish to see that Light,
I run risk of being human.
What can one do in such defeat
when this despair is hollowing
– knowing that there is no retreat
and remorse ever following?
Oh breathe the fear of damnation:
with terror will one suffocate.
As he succumbs to the poison,
he falls in the balance of Fate.
So I resign to the shadow
with my soul in captivity.
And I brace for the time to follow,
knowing I will never be free.
(Written in September, 2014)