Tag: Poetry

Ex Nihilo

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I was certain it was all or nothing.
Could ignorance gamble a different solution?
But in the end, it was all for nothing.

Desperately through ashes I was sifting.
Had I recourse but to hold fast the illusion
of one solution – of all or nothing?

Beneath the foundation I was digging.
Perhaps not all was lost and the real delusion
was scribed on the wall as: all for nothing.

Only ashes and dust am I reaping
– gripping, ripping from the earth in my vexation
as each angel that swore “All or nothing.”

Now not even remorse counts for something
– yes, it might outweigh every other emotion,
but it can’t pay this debt of all for nothing.

What is left but hope- oh that cruelest thing,
for “ex nihilo” is ever the conclusion.
Are you certain it is all or nothing?
Can you pay the price of all for nothing?

Concerning a Dead Bee On the Sill of a Stained Glass Window

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How auspicious this apparent florescence
must have seemed at first:
an irresistible panoply of all you were ativistically designed to seek.
But it was an unintentional deception
– the stars reflected in the water.
In your desperate search through each and every hue,
your strength was bartered for regret.
Exhaustion weighed down your wings
as you crawled, still driven by duty,
toward this insufficient facsimile.
Now the sun sets.
Now the sun sets upon your fatal mistake,
filters through the opaque glass
and casts upon your lifeless body
a death shroud of many colors.

Chasm

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Will you fill the void?
Will you bridge this divide?
Or will you watch me slip
into the space between
and tell me
“I don’t owe you anything.”

I let her fall
into the chasm of my indifference,
only to turn and find myself
still on the other side of yours.
Yet how can I cross that
which you insist does not even exist?
Oh but it does and I persist,
and with unfailingly devotion,
carry out your every request.
For you say that you do love me,
that you do want me.
So I believe
that if I fulfill your every need,
you will want
to satisfy just this one of mine.
But I am exhausted
by this process of elimination.
Time, money and emotion
all fall short,
and I scramble back
to the martyr’s edge,
– hear the jaws snap
as resentment lowers
its haggard head.

The Beginning

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This bond will break, it cannot bend.
Hold fast- I could not stop
the beginning of our end.

Who is to blame? We both had doubt.
But voiceless fear is an open wound
and silent answers sold us out.

You are not dead to me my dear
– yet if I feel no life with you,
then you’re the death of me I fear.

But I became your every breath!
So could I truly call it living
if I left you to certain death?

Blood is pouring from the suture.
These broken hearts we stitched together
bleed and stain our every future.

Who is to blame? We both knew change.
The children we were died in our arms
– the face in the mirror was strange.

This bond will break, so leave it be.
It was made for a different life,
and from that life we now are free.

Threnody

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Let tomorrow bring for me
a blood red sun’s cloudless break.
For her light I will not see,
– to her light I will not wake.

I care not if chance or fate
– in sorrow have I wandered
and cursed Death for being so late.
This is the night I wanted.

Love and hope were all I knew:
every breath I would revere.
But love passed like morning dew
and hope fell to my worst fear.

Because our love was youthful,
there was nothing Time could do.
But Fate was very watchful,
and no bounds his great arm knew.

Thus for me the night had come
and all the world slept and dreamed.
But my visions then were from
opened eyes it would have seemed.

Through the darkness I held fast
to sanity till the dawn.
Only when I breathe my last
will these bleak visions be gone.

Now in this concluding hour
I exalt your memory.
In this I find the power
to accept eternity.

Let tomorrow bring for me
a blood red sun’s cloudless break.
Death, tonight, will set me free,
then by my love will I wake.

When of my breath I am shorn
and you bear me to the ground,
sing no threnody forlorn!
Utter not a mournful sound.

Bear me not there with weeping
for I would you weep no tear.
Lay me beside my darling,
for my heart has rested here.

(Written in 2013)